I’ve been getting some amusing letters – entirely unsolicited – from sixth-formers at a school in Hertfordshire. Here are a few.
From Alex Rudin, February 25, 2019 at 1:22 pm. Hello Bernard, As a student in Higher Education, I was a big fan of your work on the British Empire. However, I belive you fail to consider the impact of the printing press in this period. In fact, this omission angers me tremendously. I have written to your publisher and expect compensation. I look forward to hearing your justification Mr. Porter, if that even is your name!
Kieran Kooks, February 25, 2019 at 1:27 pm. As a fellow student, I agree with Mr. Rudin’s insightful comment. Whilst I loved reading ‘The Lion’s Share’, it fills me with rage that a self proclaimed ‘expert in history’ leaves out something so important! I hope you can find it in your heart to remove this book from existence.
I like forward to hearing from you soon.
Harry Philips, 4 minutes ago. Dear Mr. Porter, I am currently struggling with my A-Level History coursework which includes analysing “The Lion’s Share”. My teacher gave my second draft 3 marks out of 20 so I would love to know if you would be willing to write it for me. It only needs to be around 5000 words and it’s about what drove British imperial policy in Africa so I’m sure you’ll love doing it. We can make a collaborative document if that is more convenient for you. I also work for an hour once a fortnight so you can understand that it may be difficult for me to find time to help. I expect this to be complete by next Tuesday (2/4/19) at the latest. Thanks in advance, Hazza.
(BJP) I’m sure they won’t mind my republishing their letters here. I hope they go far!
Porter’s Pensées 
Regards, Alex. p.s. I am considering legal action!