Pulled. Sorry. But not before a comment was added: below.
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Meta
What struck me most about the post – pulled at the behest of your concerned minder(s) I might guess – was your statement that you have no fear of death. My assumption has been that this fear was, as with all other animals, hard-wired into our systems. Therefore I was interested in how you have been able to defeat or neutralise your feelings about this usually-dreaded event. I am convinced by what Epicurus has to say on this topic; however, I do not think that a rational argument can overcome such a base instinct. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has its limits.
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No ‘behest’, I’m afraid; purely my own decision, arising from a reluctance to bare my soul publicly. I don’t know why I don’t seem to have this ‘base instinct’. The only time I’ve feared death is when I’ve thought it might prevent my finishing one of my books.You might be able to read something into that.
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a good jobbing academic, respected, I hope, among a small circle, but never likely to be obituarised in the Times or Guardian.
Since I became an academic – rather late in life – I’ve gradually become aware of the “Gray’s Elegy” quality of moderate academic renown. A while back, when I was Reviews Editor for an academic journal, I was shocked by the news that one of our best reviewers had died, not exactly young but far too early. The hardest part was realising that, as far as the wider world was concerned, nobody had noticed. We gave him a write-up – he was a very good reviewer – and I’m sure his university put a few words on their Website, but beyond that he only really left a gap for his family, friends and colleagues. Perhaps that’s just how it is, unless you’re at Hobsbawmian levels of eminence and celebrity. Better find some consolation in the thought of our influence being ‘incalculably diffused’, like Dorothea Brooke’s.
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Right, thanks, and would be very consoling if I needed to be consoled. But I’ve never wanted fame or fortune. Niall Fergusson once wrote to say that I was critical of him because I envied his ‘fame and fortune’. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I thought I’d deleted this post – too personal – but obviously not in time for you to see it!
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